Episodio 1: #2 PODER DECIR ADIOS te hablo Mamá 💖🌻 PODCAST 💙🛸

00:00:00 - It's your time.

00:00:28 - It's your time.

00:00:58 - Well, what I want to do today, or maybe I'll leave or not, is to talk to my mother who is no longer the idea is to say goodbye, see you soon, but hey, in itself you have to put everything you feel, and for that I'm going to count the last night or a part of her that I was in and it was like that, she already came with a disease, sclerodermia, it is called, which hurts her whole body, on the outside and also on the inside, when it hurts her on the inside but there was also all the trachea, it was also damaged, so she didn't stop eating and she was under 20 kilos in a short time

00:02:32 - At the beginning no one knew what it was, we didn't know anything until the diagnosis was this

00:02:45 - Well, the last night I was there, I decided to stay with her, sleep with her, take me to the bed next to her bed.

00:02:57 - I was there, I couldn't sleep much because I already had like cough or the voice like dry and I couldn't breathe well.

heard how when when you have these you could not sleep much and she did not either so nothing I stayed there and we slept but nothing we were there at the moment of the dawn she gets up to go to the bathroom and well there is where I want to accompany her and at that moment she was like, I don't understand where she was, she felt like she was lost, she didn't tell me but I saw her lost because she told me she wanted to go to the bathroom but at the same time

00:04:07 - I didn't know how either. I didn't understand.

00:04:14 - So I went to try to... I was a little nervous.

00:04:23 - I looked at the time. I remember that I said,

00:04:26 - No, look at the time, it doesn't matter.

00:04:29 - And she looked at me as saying,

00:04:32 - I don't give a fuck

00:04:34 - Don't mess with me

00:04:36 - And...

00:04:38 - Nothing

00:04:40 - I wanted to take the pressure

00:04:44 - When I took the pressure

00:04:46 - I don't know if I was taking it badly

00:04:48 - Or...

00:04:50 - I don't know

00:04:52 - I remember that between the three of us

00:04:54 - We took it, between my brother and my sister

00:04:56 - And me, we took the pressure

00:04:58 - We had learned

00:05:00 - I don't know if I was nervous, or I don't know, or a question that ended up going back to bed, and me too.

00:05:11 - In a moment I heard that she ran to the moada to sleep better or something like that, I do not know what I wanted to do and I asked if it was well if she felt good and she the first thing that she told me was that she was fine and that she sleeps and that she sleeps, she told me and that's how it was because what a mother says is always law always or at least that's how to make the case blindly to what she tells you or at least me in in my case I did a lot of cases or a little no too but sometimes I did what I wanted but a word of mom was always important in my life and well at that time I slept I don't know how but I slept at the time or I really don't know what time it was, but I remember it was at 8 o'clock, it was 8 o'clock in the morning approximately, I woke up as well as I fell asleep at the end and she was in a position where she always slept, she always slept on top of her mouth with her hands between the wings and I went to call her and when I went to call her she had already died.

00:07:09 - At that time I called my brother who was in the other room, I called a doctor

00:07:15 - Well, what you do, I tried to breathe in my mouth but I didn't know how to do it at that time.

00:07:25 - I didn't know how to do it, I didn't know how to do it.

00:07:31 - No, it's very crazy because months before I wanted to learn and in the end I couldn't see it, I didn't end up learning and nothing, maybe at that time I could have helped you.

00:07:54 - It's what I say, and what I think, and it's one that is reproached and it's a bit of a blame as well, isn't it?

00:08:02 - Like...

00:08:04 - Saying why I didn't do this, but in reality she's been doing this for more than an hour, probably since she died, or more, or less.

00:08:21 - So, nothing...

that was the night that happened and the day and well later the usual the normal thing is that they take it and the doctor comes and tells you things and well, etc. that the case does not come, neither does that

00:08:48 - To tell her that I love her, that I miss her, that even today it is very difficult for me to be without her.

00:09:08 - This happened in 2016, we are in 2021, that there is no day that I do not think or it appears to me or I remember it, or I look for it somewhere.

00:09:26 - It was difficult for me from the first moment, obviously all the deaths are difficult, right?

00:09:38 - I wanted to leave my house, I remember.

00:09:44 - I didn't want to live where I am, I live in the same land.

00:09:50 - Sometimes I wait for someone to call me, or touch the window and tell me how are you?

00:10:08 - And well, those things were very strange, I missed the talks and the looks we had and the shots we took while chatting, it was a person with whom you could talk about whatever it was.

00:10:24 - And he had a love, he gave a love so incredible, so, well, the love of mother, of mother, right?

00:10:37 - If you have that kind of mother, they give a lot of love, they just look at you with the word or with a gesture, whatever, you will understand.

00:10:52 - You miss a lot, you miss absolutely everything and it is difficult to grow up with that too.

00:11:15 - You don't want sometimes a hug that no matter how much you give it to someone else, it doesn't matter.

00:11:24 - You don't want a hug from your mom. You want to listen to her.

you also need that company, but you also have to understand that everything is part of life that as well as we are born we die and death must also be faced and say it until soon to tell him that thank you, thank you for having been the mother you were

00:12:12 - Gracias por todo lo que me enseñaste, gracias por cuidarme, gracias por cada palabra, cada

00:12:31 - Instante cada...

00:12:38 - Gracias por...

00:12:43 - Por escucharme, por bancarme y eso es algo que no lo hace nadie, solo una mamá.

00:12:51 - Bancarte en todas, es absolutamente todas, locuras, llantos, bronca, felicidad, mal humor,

00:13:00 - Well, love, absolutely everything and being there is something impressive and incredible that I don't know how it's really done, obviously it's the love that unites you, but it's something so incredible, something so that you don't understand that

00:13:30 - One does not fit in the head or in the chest, in the heart, everything a mother does.

00:13:41 - Sometimes I have these moments of wanting to talk to you, that's why I also speak now,

00:14:01 - I talked to the microphone and a screen and I try to talk to you and to talk to me, right?

00:14:22 - It's not about looking for yourself to try to understand how everything goes, after each duel, from each game and from the people that you accompanied them for the rest of your life and they were there and you saw them during your whole life when you got up and you went to bed, you ate with them,

00:15:10 - You had a dinner, a snack, you had parties, you had chants, compartments, and then those people finish the physical part, right?

being, not being anymore not being, I mean if you start thinking about it you don't even think about it the saying, not being anymore, I mean there's nothing not being, I mean, the physical, not being

00:16:04 - They are never walking and they listen to each other or they can go and talk to each other.

00:16:17 - They also die, but they are still transformed into something else.

00:16:26 - And this is the love that one feels for them, it never ends and ends.

00:16:36 - I think it becomes something much bigger than I don't know how to describe it.

00:16:42 - The word love is girl.

00:16:44 - The word I love you is girl.

00:16:56 - So, well, I wanted to talk a little bit, I want to keep getting these feelings, if you

00:17:16 - They like it so much that now at this moment I feel that the throat is closed.

00:17:32 - And asking me what else to do, how to continue.

00:17:40 - If you have to understand that you are still one, because in reality the one who lives the life of one is one, but it is difficult to get back together again after when you after they are no longer and one does not remain the same, it is like a little broken and at the same time when it gets better that it does not get better either

00:18:34 - I do not know, it continues as one can also, but they are experiences that you will never forget so if you have your mother there near I would tell you to hug her, hug her very hard and tell her how much you believe her, how much you love her

00:19:20 - I would give everything absolutely to what I don't have

00:19:26 - I don't know, everything, absolutely everything, it doesn't matter as there are days that it is difficult so I do not know if there is a conclusion to all this, at least I can get it out,

00:20:04 - Obviously one has to follow and I'm going to follow in advance, but it has to heal, heal everything you can see and want to be able to enjoy life because that's what you need to enjoy life from the smallest to the biggest and being able to say goodbye

00:20:52 - It is to be able to raise your eyes, look towards the present and feel the other way.

00:21:16 - To see that the people we had in our lives were for something.

00:21:28 - And we didn't take anything from them.

00:21:33 - And they took something from us.

00:21:36 - And in itself we do not lose anything, although they are not as they always were, they are in another way, because the memories, the experiences and a lot of things that we share with them remain engraved.

00:22:25 - And that is appreciated a lot.

00:22:29 - I tell you, goodbye. I tell you, see you soon, because I know that we are going to find each other in another way, in a different way.

00:22:51 - I tell you, see you soon and goodbye.

because I know that we are going to find each other because I know that that moment will come at some point

00:23:11 - I hope I can be doing everything I can to be able to live you always told me that you have to continue and live well

00:23:26 - Sonreir y agradecer y eso es algo que no estoy haciendo, agradecer, agradecer el día a día, agradecer un montón de cosas, agradecer solamente por abrir los ojos.

00:23:46 - It is something that I do not realize yet, but I am also going to put it in practice.

00:24:00 - So at some point we will tell our experiences.

00:24:12 - I did very well that we are going to find each other. I am very sure of that, but in another way, so I tell you goodbye and see you soon.

00:24:27 - I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you with all my life.

00:24:38 - Thank you.

00:24:42 - Well, this was what I have to say today, I hope you like it, I don't know, but I need to do it.

00:25:03 - I send you a kiss and a hug and I hope you are doing well.

00:25:12 - I'm no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one you